This is a story as to why I stopped pulling at our game of tug-of-war.
I’ve had a rough day, weeks even. You were the source of my temporary comfort. The more I got tired, the more I got clingy. At some point, I would stop and check my level of intimacy with you. But no matter what the findings I’d still continue on the same road.
I’ve been extra clingy this week. I made my own efforts to see you, to spend time with you, and to talk to you. Most of the time even going out of my way just to do so. I made extra sacrifices I wasn’t supposed to make.
Tonight you gave me an early goodnight. It felt like I was the only one giving an effort. It was like the feeling of being missed was not reciprocated. I wasn’t on a trying mood so I hung up the phone. I felt like I was left as the only one who knows what was of us, whatever we wanted to call it and the denial of labels for “it”. A familiar feeling that was followed by a rush of cold reality—HINDI NGA PALA TAYO.
A night before, I remembered you commenting “Thought you’d never ask…” on my efforts to call you. Calling you became a usual routine before we go to sleep. But that night left a mark on my subconscious and that subconscious was triggered open now.
I felt like I was the only one pulling. The only one pulling to my side of this undefined relationship when pulling alone is already a rule-breaker. It should have been left alone in the first place. Now that we’ve lifted the rope there’s no going back.
And then there was us. Pulling and puling, not stopping until one of us falls into that mud pit and the other follows too.
You see, I’ve been to that mud pit. It’s not easy getting out and it’s not easy staying either. What is required of us to be saved from that mud pit is an against-the-flow move and the game rule itself—PUSH.
I choose to push.
Push you away from the dirt and messiness of a wrong relationship. Push you away from the pit of lies a wrong relationship offers at a wrong time. Push you away from me.
And even though my knees get scraped from letting go of the rope unexpectedly, I’m glad to have taken the fall for you.
Abba Father will now take the rope for safe keeping. Until then, my love, you will never know this push and pull love story.
“His eyes just melt me on the spot! Plus he gave me chocolates for my birthday. Isn’t he so thoughtful and sweet?” she thought.
“Well, she’s pretty and so excited with the gift. Kind and sweet girl. I think I like her.” He thought
“I feel something special for him; he probably feels the same for me. It must be us. It must really be us.” She concluded.
MU a.k.a. Mutual Understanding. Same feelings for each other. Feelings keep rushing and it’s so good that you wish it won’t stop. Well, you wish.
MU is everywhere and you can’t just get enough of it. It’s pretty viral. Symptoms are dreamy-eyed young people floating in the air thinking MU must be love. Well, MU is not love. The fact that “mutual” has “mute” for its root word proves that it isn’t love. Love is expressed in balance through words and actions. Love is not mute.
When you are in a mutual understanding, you don’t usually utter words to confirm what you understand. You just assume that what you think is what the other person thinks. Surprise, surprise, we are not mind readers! Just because you think it is, doesn’t really mean it really is! And that’s dangerous.
Imagine you’re driving a car and your ka-MU is your passenger. There is MU so you assume your passenger wants to go where you want to go. You start driving to Baguio. But your passenger is thinking otherwise. He/she wants to go to Tagaytay. You both assumed you agree where you’re going so there is no need for words to confirm the understanding.
He thought, she thought. All in your thoughts and in the end you quarrel because you find out you were not thinking the same things. Where did all the feelings go?
See here, MU is dangerous because there is no certainty, no direction, and above all no smooth communication flow. It is selfish and cares not for the welfare of the other. You think that they would think like you do; feel the way you feel.
In the little thought exchange above, girl and boy assume in their thoughts that they like each other. Their thoughts are justified by the acts of kindness and sweetness to each other. But do kindness, sweetness and thoughtfulness equate love? Just because something feels so right, could it really mean love? If all your answers are yes, please reconsider because you’re headed the wrong and very dangerous highway.
Love is not just the “good feelings.” Love requires commitment. It speaks, it acts and it confirms.
Have you ever fallen in love? Was it really love? Or was it just a trip to the dangerous highway of MU? Share us your story. We’d love to hear from you.
I was surfing the net one time, searching for thoughts about the MU fever then I came across these lines from a confused blogger.
“ano ba talaga?!? hayy!ang gulo talaga… unfair di ba?!? di mo alam kung anong status nyo…you’re doing things na parang kayo, pero hindi…”
This could be the same thing some of you are experiencing toward your friend, bestfriend, klasmeyt or katrabaho. “Love ba talaga ‘to?” At the back of your mind, you’re confused.
MU or Mutual Understanding has become a fad in our culture today particularly for teenagers and singles out there. You can hear different stories over and over again MU for ilang months of texting, blogging, chatting, and friendster update after that break na! Iba nman, are prolonging the agony of being attached with someone. Don’t know where they are going? How will their relationship work? In other words, magulong usapan!
The truth is… there is no such thing as MU in a relationship. WHY? Ito kasi ang defense mechanism ng mga taong ayaw ng COMMITMENT. They’re running away from a nerve breaking attachment and responsibility. Instead of being committed, kumitid ang brains nila to comprehend what should be done in a right way. Commitment o Mukhang Unggoy na lang?
Commitment is pledging yourself to a certain purpose and doing it consistently. Moving away from it, ruins your relationship with others and eventually your own life!
How about U? Wt are ur thoughts about this topic?
Will share more insights to our next blog….In the mean time, would like to hear frm U.
The world teaches a different thing or perspective concerning relationships with the opposite sex. Its okei to be in a “relationship” without a commitment. Kaya super complicated ang journey niyong dalawa.Ang reason ng ilan…
“Hassle kase e.” “Ay0ko ng additional responsibility.” “Hindi pa ako handa.”
Statements such as these doesn’t make any sense. We strongly believe that its more than being attracted with someone or palagay ang loob niyo sa isa’t isa or you said “I love you mwah mwah” to someone. The question of “Am i ready to spend the rest of my life with this person?” ” Am i willing to do anything for her sake and welfare?” These are basic questions to consider.
Commitment is not just a cheap invitation, attracting you to great benefits and advantages. It involves unbelievable cost and supreme sacrifices.
Commitment is the answer not MU thing. Commitment looks in the future! One time shot, short time, playing safe doesn’t describe it at all. If you’re not yet ready, stop and think! Spare your heart from aches. Save it and wait for the right time. Build healthy relationships first to your family, friends, classmates, workmates, churchmates.
Think about this.. God’s love for you is not a MU thing. He built it in commitment to fulfill the promise he has set before our hearts. Its a relationship that will never end. Forever, that’s what we call COMMITMENT.
Are you afraid of commitments?
What things hinder you to commit faithfully to someone?
Do you need a change on how u personally view things?