I guess I really have to make a decision now. A radical decision that would set the course of my life walking in the light of Jesus Christ.

Being open about the possibility of getting married soon is subtly taking my full attention from Christ and what He has called me to do. I want to live a fully surrendered life to Jesus Christ and a poured out life for others whom God also loves.

My future mate is a potential idol in my heart. Though there’s a part of me that wants to meet my future husband, there’s also a part of me thanking God that I haven’t met him yet.

More than the skills that I should learn to keep a comfortable home for my future family, my heart must be pruned and purified first before I meet my other half. Every time there’s a gathering and I’ve prepared food for our guests, people tell me how they think I am ready for marriage. It’s flattering because I’ve always wanted to be an excellent homemaker and I know that part of taking care of my future family is acquiring the skills necessary for a comfortable and serene home. But there’s more to being married than keeping a home.

Leslie Ludy once said, “Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you’ll always be looking to mere men to meet needs that only He can fill. Only when you make Jesus Christ your first love, will you be ready for a love story that reflects His glory. ”

If the Lord will allow me to get married, I want it to be a reflection of His glory. I want people to know about the Lord who wants His children to experience the kind of love the way God designed it to be and not how the world defines it.

If I am more focused on meeting my future mate then my priority is not really God but the guy of my dreams.

Now that the Lord has given me a different responsibility, a responsibility fit for a single woman of my age, is there enough reason not to take it? There’s a bigger picture and a larger population out there who need help and only a few are willing to lay down their lives for them. If it’s the Lord who’s calling me to go out there and pour out my time, energy, and treasure to give life to others, does He deserve a “No”?

“What kind of a God is it who asks everything of us? The same God who ‘did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all; and with this gift how can He fail to lavish upon us all He has to give?’ He gives all. He asks all.” -Elisabeth Elliot

For now, I am giving up on the thought of getting married soon. Instead of following my crushes’ Facebook or listening to “kilig” love songs, I want to spend more time thinking of how I could help change the world through Jesus Christ and act upon it. Facebook, tv or music per se is not a sin, but whatever this world offers us, I have resolved to use it to give life to others.

Today I am single because God doesn’t think I need a husband right now. In His time and in the moment I least expect it, He will reveal who my future mate will be.

Pray with me as I make this radical decision in my life. Not only for my sake but also for those who are inspired with the ministry of True Love Waits Philippines.

God bless you all! 🙂

~ Leslie Grace Vergara, Training Coordinator and Volunteer Specialist