What makes a hero?

What makes a hero?

What makes a hero?

According to Meriam Webster, the simplest definition of hero is a person who admired for great or brave acts or fine qualities, a person who is greatly admired or the chief male character in a story, play, movie, etc.

Kids of today were too much indulged with the latter definition, movies that have “superheroes”. There are the marvel and justice league. But, ano nga ba ang “superhero” talaga? Sa panahon ngayon, sino nga ba talaga ang tunay na hero, ang true to life hero?

Ang sinasabi nila ngayon sa bansa natin, ang “modern day hero” daw natin ay ang mga Overseas Filipino Worker, at which for me is a yes. Oo, matatawag silang hero kasi nag-sacrifice sila para mataguyod ang kanya-kanya nilang pamilya. Nawalay sila sa kanilang mga pamilya, yung iba namamaltrato pa ng mga amo, pero kahit na ganun, tinitiis nila yun dahil sa pagmamahal nila sa kanilang mga pamilya. Pero, sila lang ba ang matatawag na hero? Kailangan pa ba nating mag-ibang bansa para lamang matawag na hero?

As I go on with my everyday life and observe with my surroundings I came to realize that each and every one of us have our own heroes or is a hero in our own little way.

We have our own heroes in our lives, we have our parents who brought us here in this world, or for some who can’t call their biological parents their heroes kasi iniwan o pinabayaan lang, there were people who took care of you. Like me, my biological father left us when I was still a baby, he left me, my two brothers and my mom then my mom met my step-father who took good care of us. Siya ang nagtaguyod samin magkakapatid, he loved my mom so much na kahit single siya, he still chose and loved not just my mom but us, my mom’s three kids. For me he is a hero in disguise.

There are also those heroes who gave up their all just to share the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people, the missionaries or full time ministry workers. Those people who out of their reverence and love of the Lord moved out from their comfort zones and went into a battle just to proclaim God’s goodness to the world.

You may ask “does the word sacrifice do really entails with the word hero?” I guess, yes, BUT that doesn’t ask for a huge sacrifice like for an instance, when you’re crossing the street and you saw a kid or an old person, you approached them to help them cross the street, that act is a simple act of heroism. You sacrificed a little of your time or effort in that, right? Or, when a friend of yours is deeply in need then you went out of your way to see him/her, that act is an act of heroism. Or, in MRT/LRT or bus, you saw an old woman standing and you decided to stand up despite how tired you were that day, it is also an act of heroism.

As you can see, being a hero doesn’t ask too much. It doesn’t necessitate us to give up our lives or so. We can be a hero in our own little way. Being a hero can be part of our everyday lives. We don’t need to die just to be a hero, or go abroad, or do huge things, in our own simple act, we can be a hero.

But, ofcourse, who is the greatest hero of all? He is the one who gave up His life to save the lost, the one who has no sin became sin for us, the one who really have it all – the heavens and the earth, the one who has unfailing love, the one who’s been there and literally never left. He is the greatest hero of all, and His name is Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 3:18 (ASV) said that “Because Christ also suffered for sins once, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God; being put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit.” For me, He is the greatest hero of all and the best #goals or standard in being a hero.

National Heroes Day should not be celebrated just once in a year. Be a hero to someone today.

by Patricia Aidyl A. Santiago
True Love Waits PH Volunteer

How To Pick A Spouse by Dan Chun

How To Pick A Spouse by Dan Chun

With increasing global culture, there’s a push to assume that – what we need most is an exclusive relationship. We share in our lessons at True Love Waits Philippines that “There is ONE THING that we need most”…..”Let’s Begin That Search!”

Many search for Captivation, Acceptance, Love, Faithfulness and Forgiveness. It’s common and you might be asking yourself when everything is quiet and you are alone “Who Can Satisfy My Emptiness?” That’s not “a great question”, it’s THE QUESTION.

In September 2015 I had the opportunity to speak to the college students at FPCH in beautiful Hawaii where Pastor Dan Chun is leading a great community of people to Love God, Love people and reach the world for Jesus Christ. My question for his students was not “Do you want to love and be loved?” But I did ask them “Who Loved You First?” Answer: God. The reason for my question is like the view of author Dan Chun, at True Love Waits we are helping people find their destiny in Jesus Christ.

And honestly, if it’s true that God loved you first, then our number one pursuit of a life-long partner must be filtered by finding someone who’s goal is also helping people find their destiny in Christ.

Dan Chun’s book is filled with practical wisdom on choosing the right spouse. In thirteen years working with Filipino young people True Love Waits Philippines has encountered hundreds of thousands of single young adults on campuses across the Philippines and millions of Filipinos through print media, TV and Radio. While visiting Hawaii at lunch with Dan he handed me a copy of this book that you will read. Over the next three days I read the entire book almost without putting it down, I immediately asked Dan “How can we get this in the Philippines?” This is the story of why you are reading this blog today and Dan’s book getting in your hands soon. There are many realities to relationships and the breakup is an important issue.

“You either break up or you get married. Its a reality, but once you start dating, those are generally your only two options.” Dan Chun

We are writing this blog and promoting Dan’s book to ask for your help in getting the word out through social media and friends. It’s not enough if we only reach you. There’s a quote “The Gospel is only good news if it gets there in time” which is a catchy phrase but not completely true. The gospel is good news – period. On the other hand advice on how to pick a spouse is good news if it gets there in time – period.

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Yesterday, I picked up one hundred copies of the book by Dan Chun – How To Pick A Spouse. I was taking them to the True Love Waits office in Ortigas. I had to make a trip to a store along the way and before getting out of the vehicle, I picked up one copy and took it with me. I thought maybe I might encounter someone who needs this good news. I was doing some shopping and had layed the book down to look while shopping. The sales associate’s head was turned sideways reading the book title on the spine. With surprise, the associate said “Wow, nice book!”  I responded and then we entered into a conversation about TLW, what we do and why I had the book. As other sales associates were gathering around my impromptu “Love Revolution Talk”, I asked the question “Do you have a special someone in your life?” to which I heard the heart breaking response. “I’m separated.” My heart broke at that point. And then she said I wish I had this book 6 years ago before I got married, it would have saved me so much pain Long story short, I gave the book to the associate, challenged this person to share with co-workers and gave an information on our next TLW event.

This heart of True Love Waits Philippines – to Connect Filipino Youth with God and His Plan for Absolute Purity. But not simply to bring someone to our office or to be a part of our events but to equip Filipino Youth to know solutions to life’s problems and provide encouragement that there is hope for growing closer to God’s plan for those people that you encounter daily.

This week I watched a video by Software Developer Jeff Lawson founder of Twilio where they are known for Platform Evangelism. You might be thinking right now…. “What is Twilio?” Good question. Twilio is a company that builds apps to communicate with everyone in the world. The company is only 8 years old and worth 2 billion USD. In a June presentation Founder Jeff Lawson said that a goal was to fuel the future of communications. Jeff said “We want to be the fuel to your fire -that’s our mission“. When I heard Jeff say that was his mission, it sounded familiar. He went on to use phrases like – Change the World, Be a Doer. And that Twilio is by developers and for developers and that there were 1,000,000 developers in the Twilio community. At this point, even though I know nothing about software or apps and even though I am a tech-dummy, I was getting excited.

I know this sounds like a blog about Twilio. But stay with me. It’s about How To Pick A Spouse. But it is also our goal to use our platform to communicate with everyone in our world by fueling your fire so that you can be a doer and change the world around you!

Each of these points by Jeff are points that will help you help True Love Waits, because True Love Waits is by Filipino Youth for Filipino Youth! Jeff said that agility or always making improvements despite mistakes was one of the keys to their growth. And then Jeff dropped the bomb. He said that they way they improve was by listening and building and that the way that they do that was IN SMALL GROUPS!

I was like – YES!

Small Groups is one of the Big Ideas in How To Pick A Spouse, True Love Waits and in the bible –

“You need to give your friends permission to speak into your life. We need to give permission to our friends to tell us the brutal facts about what they think of our date/boyfriend/girlfriend, because it takes a community to choose a spouse.”

One thought that Dan teaches us in his book How To Pick A Spouse is that as you begin your relationship with the opposite sex in an exclusive dating type relationship, it is extremely important that you continue hanging out with your usual friends. Often the scenario is you have close fellowship with your friends and once you are captivated by your handsome prince, then all of your friends turn into frogs. Don’t forget, you need a Colony of Frogs to help you know if the guy that you are pursuing is prince material. Dan calls these people designated truth tellers.

Like the Twilio vision, you need a small group to empower you because you will encounter problems that need to be solved. If an application fails on your smart phone, its a sad day and you you need to re-load it. But if your marriage fails, it’s more like your smart phone was run over by a jeep. How To Pick A Spouse will help you avoid getting smashed by a jeep in regards to your love life.

THE WEIRD ZONE

In How To Pick A Spouse, Dan talks about being in the Weird Zone. You might know the friend zone, that’s another zone. So what is the Weird Zone? Dan writes “What happens when you enter The Weird Zone? You can become infatuated, which means you start to lose touch with reality. Here are some signs that you are in the Weird Zone:

  • You no longer see any faults in the person
  • You want to spend every free moment with that person
  • You start trying to cut corners at work to be with that person
  • You stop listening to your friends’ warnings about that person

If you notice this in yourself or others, be careful, for you hare entering into The Weird Zone of infatuation. Infatuation blinds us from seeing the practicality of what’s true. The Weird Zone might lead you into a disastrous relationship.

At True Love Waits we have some friends who own an event company that plans weddings. Our friend shared with us some statistics on the amount of time that people invest in choosing flowers, including traveling to numerous shops and looking at displays, selecting a cake, the time spent trying on dresses, choosing a photographer, and a videographer, and writing your own vows. Adding up all of those hours, and the money invested into the wedding day it looks like the time invested in starting a 2 billion dollar technology startup. It’s a lot.

But if you ask couples how much time was invested and the importance of pre-marital counseling, the room is silent….  How To Pick A Spouse reasons that pre-marital counseling will help couples see –

  • If they are infatuated
  • If they have a realistic view of one another
  • If there are things in character or background that would be too hard to overcome

STATISTICS ON FILIPINO MARRIAGES

How To Pick A Spouse will help guide you in avoiding the relationship that I mentioned of the sales associate. And if you don’t think it can happen to you or maybe that’s the kind of marriage problems in the west, sad to say we also have lots of challenges here in the Philippines.

From the National Statistics Office and the Office of Solicitor, there are lots of numbers and if you google Filipino Separation or Annulment, you’ll find a variety of articles in the media. Below are just a few of those numbers. There are many ways to bend the numbers to the point that you want to make and it’s a lot to explain but at the end of all of your research you will discover that we also have problems in the Philippines.

Approximately one half of one million people get married every year. Most are civil marriages making up a little more than 40% of all marriages. Lots of those married were married in February and the second most popular is May. The average number of people who filed for annulments in the last three years in the Philippines is approximately 10,000 annually, another statistic reports 2.4 million Filipinos in a live-in relationship and not married. A report also shows an average age for those filing for annulment is 21-25 years of age and the length of those marriages being 1-5 years. A report also showed that 82% of those had children.

Government statistics and other research data also show that cohabitation or live-in relationships before marriage actually increases the likelihood of divorce or separation. Contrary to the thought that if you have sex before marriage or live-in first that that will help you know if he or she is the one.

At the end of all of the fact searching we are missing much. In TLW we encounter a greater number of people who come from broken families. Even the day that I was shopping, I looked around the room and I said to the sales associate “Look at the 10 men in this area, most probably 5 of them come from broken families.” It’s only a guess but if you work in True Love Waits for 13 years and encounter hundreds of thousands of youth, you don’t need to read the paper or google to know that the problems for a great number of our Filipino families is deep and heart breaking.

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SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

In Chapter 3, there is a story of Jenny who was actually participated in a True Love Waits event but somehow had been misguided in the purpose of what True Love Waits is all about. Her focus was on getting the participants to sign a commitment card, rather than understanding that purity is more than virginity. When God’s word speaks about purity, it is not necessarily always about sexuality. Biblical purity is heart, emotions actions and speech as well as your body.

One quote is “Purity is an all encompassing life-style, not simply the absence of sex.” But even that quote falls short of what God wants for all of us.

Purity is connecting with God’s plan for Absolute Purity and that can only happen when we acknowledge that in all of our efforts we can never be pure. Even the greatest speakers, authors and yes, even Dan Chun or Derek Ross can never be pure on our own. Maybe you are reading this now and you are very pure in comparison to your friends. We have True Love Waits volunteers that might be described this way. But you might also have made some choices in the distant past or even as recent as the time you are reading this blog. Both categories of people are still in one category when we are compared to the purity of Christ.

Here are two statements that describe the heart of True Love Waits.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” 2 Cor 5:21

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“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit” 1 Peter 3:18

CORE VALUES

If you’ve made mistakes in past relationships, there may have been many causes. In Dan’s book he shares about THE 7 Cs exercise. He writes that people get married for a variety of reasons including looks, loyalty, sense of humor, wealth, fun, spiritual depth, character, hormones and sex appeal.

The 7 Cs are – Character, Chemistry, Competency, Culture, Commitment, Communication and Core Values.

How To Pick A Spouse will help you think like we think at True Love Waits that many singles make a list of what they want in a spouse which is not a bad thing by itself. Remember, the ten commandments is a list of do’s and don’ts and so it has to be an okay system. But rather than your list for them, what if you work on being the person that someone might want to marry! We should all be on a progressive pattern of growth and change for hopefully the better.

BUGS AND THE OPERATING SYSTEM

Dan also writes about antivirus software, that our relationship pursuits should have warning signs. Including things to look for in the person that should to an extreme, not be there including – Stinginess, Anger, Codependency, Blame Game, Deception, Possessiveness, Additions, Spiritual Incompatibility, Self-centeredness, and Lack of Social Awareness.

Making lists of warning signs is important but we can also turn those into mirrors. Do you exhibit some of these signs. Like we mentioned above, rather than making lists for your perfect future mate, maybe you can also work on some of these areas of your life.

And then, of course the good list. What are the traits that you look for in a future mate? You may have heard these ideas in our Love Revo Talk. In How To Pick A Spouse, Chapter 8 is The Good OS (Operating System) Calm in the Heat of Battle, Easily Able to Apologize, A True Listener, Demonstrates Humility, Values Your Opinions, Willing To Compromise, Exhibits Parent Potential, Displays a Forgiving Attitude, Good at Resolving Conflict, Trustworthy, Shows Financial Responsibility, Speaks and Acts with Kindness, and is a Church Attender.

If you’ve been to a Love Revo Talk in a school or heard our talks in your church, you’ll see why we are partnering with Pastor Dan. His book is so great that you might think that we wrote it! Oh… wait, “#4 Demonstrates Humility”, well, no one is righteous… not even the Director of True Love Waits…. Note to self, practice what you preach!

Dan covers in the last three chapters Online Dating, What The bible Says About Marriage and Remarriage.

Finally…

THE THREE M’s

At True Love Waits Philippines we agree with Author/Pastor Dan Chun that three of the most important decisions in life are Mission, Mate and Master.

  • Mate: Who will be my spouse?
  • Mission: What is my purpose or passion in life?
  • Master: To whom will I dedicate my life? To Jesus Christ or to someone (or something) else?

This book if filled with wisdom. I cannot say enough about how great a job Pastor Dan did in laying out a practical guide to finding a lifelong partner. Stay tuned to our social media for more information about Dan and his next trip to Manila. And join us by forming a small group in your area to promote this new book. We will be posting on www.facebook.com/truelovewaitsph, www.twitter.com/truelovewaitsph and https://www.instagram.com/truelovewaitsph/

How To Pick A Spouse is available for sale now and we have P220 copies at the True Love Waits office near DepEd, Meralco, Shaw Blvd. We will also be giving some copies of the book away for various online competitions so, stay tuned tuned to our social media and our website.

If you want to invite the True Love Waits Staff and volunteers to your community, school, business, radio show, TV show, or ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet, please contact us!

Purity Movement

Derek Ross
National Director
True Love Waits Philippines

Contact Us:
09178627335
[email protected]
[email protected]

The Friendzone and the Glory of God

The Friendzone and the Glory of God

The Friendzone and the Glory of God

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”

-C.S Lewis

The generation of young people today is so preoccupied with thoughts of searching and finding that one person who can make them happy or they think can make their life more meaningful. It’s a human thing to do, perhaps. We are created to be vulnerable and we seem to have this massive void in our hearts that we want to get filled. Maybe this is the reason why many people experience emotional or mental pain: they have looked for love at the wrong places. But what if you weren’t really looking for it? What if, even without expecting it, you loved and got your heart broken?

Maraming unexpected na bagay ang nangyayari sa mundo. Hindi natin hawak ang ating hinaharap. Mayroong dalawang klase ng unexpected na bagay – yung unexpected na gusto natin at yung unexpected na hindi natin gusto. Paano nga ba tayo magre-respond sa sitwasyon kung saan nangyayari ang mga bagay na hindi natin kagustuhan?

Friendzone—isa sa trending word sa Internet at sa mga kabataan ngayon. Sabi sa Urban Dictionary, Friend Zone is “the worst position someone can be in if they have feelings for someone. When the person develops romantic feelings for someone, but the other person only sees the relationship as just being friends. Because the two are around each other a lot, the one in love will harbor his/her feelings for the other.”

The definition pretty much sums up how I feel. However, it was something I wasn’t really expecting. When I joined True Love Waits Philippines, marami akong natutunan about waiting and saving yourself for your future husband. And I thought I’m going to be invincible kasi I already know all these. But then again, the human heart is a cheater. I have a guy friend na hindi ko naman talaga ka-close noon. But one day we both discovered na we live in the same area and we have the same route papuntang eskwelahan. So the next scenario is predictable. Sabay kaming pumapasok sa school at sabay din kaming umuuwi. To cut the long story short, I have developed feelings for that guy and the sad part is na-realize ko lang na there is actually something going on inside me noong naramdaman ko na nasasaktan na pala ako kapag nagkekwento siya about sa babaeng gusto niya. Most of the time, she was all he ever talked about and it made me extremely sad and has put me into a deep emotional pain. And I don’t have any choice but to conceal it because that’s just the way it should be. That’s what made it harder for me, I had to conceal it. So there were many times when I ride the bus home, alone, looking out the window, and wondering why I had to meet that guy and get my heartbroken.

I realized that all this time, it’s always all about the will and the glory of God. We can definitely trust God even in this area of our life kahit na feeling natin hindi mawawala yung pain. God cares about us; He cares about our pain, disappointments, hurts, and discouragement. I have discovered and I have found hope and comfort in the truth that God cares more about His own glory. The night before Jesus was crucified He prayed “Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour?’ But for this purpose I came to this hour ‘Father, glorify Your name.’”(John 12:27-28)

It is amazing that God gives us comfort when we think about His glory. And the sovereign God who created everything has already planned even before I was born that there will be a day when someone will put me in the Friend Zone and will cause extreme sadness and pain and yet will use that seemingly insignificant circumstance for His glory.

It has helped me pull myself together thinking that life is not always about our happiness. Many times it had made me feel insecure dahil one-sided ang feelings ko. But then God always has the best plan na maaaring hindi natin maiintindihan sa umpisa. At ang buhay ay hindi lang about finding the right person, it’s about glorifying God with everything we have. It’s easier said than done, pero hindi tayo makaka-move on from any emotional pain if we don’t resolve to move forward and find meaning in what we’re going through.

Para sa mga katulad ko na nasa Friend Zone din, you will feel better soon and everything will make sense in the end. God cares. God listens to your cries.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God.”
Romans 8:28

  • – Anonymous
Love Revolution Talk @ Signal Village National High School

Love Revolution Talk @ Signal Village National High School

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Friday August 5th True Love Waits Staff and Volunteers shared with a few hundred student leaders at Signal Village National High School. There are 9000+ high school students at SVNHS and the need for more volunteers to help impact this school is enormous.
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In 2015 and 2016, True Love Waits has trained the 4th year graduating classes with our Love Revolution Workshop lessons. Each batch was approximately 2000 students. That’s almost 4000 students in two years. But sad to say there are 9000+ students every year and so thousands still do not know God’s plan for Absolute Purity.
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Hopefully we can meet some first and second year students and equip them to equip their classmates in the next few years. This coming September we will have another talk for students and hopefully we will also have a talk for parents. Join us in this True Love Project for Signal Village National High School Students!

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Crushable Ka Ba?

Crushable Ka Ba?

Crushable Ka Ba?

Nagsisimula daw ang lahat sa crush. Makikita mo siya at may mararamdaman kang tila kakaiba. Sa mga sandaling iyon, may mga katangian–nakikita man ng dalawang mata o nararamdaman–na lalong magsasabi sa’yo na ‘crush’ mo na nga siya.

Exciting ang magka-crush. Lalo na kung pareho kayo ng school o pinupuntahan araw-araw. Gusto mo na lagi mo siyang nakikita o nakakasama. Kahit hindi kayo mag-usap, basta’t alam mong pareho kayo ng ginagalawang mundo at abot kamay (o tingin) lang ang isa’t-isa, buo na ang araw mo. Nakakakilig. Nakakapagpasaya.

Hanggang sa isang araw, mapapaisip ka nalang out of the blue at mapapatanong, “Magugustuhan din kaya niya ako?”

Aminin natin ang katotohanan na minsan may mga crush na hanggang dun lang. Hindi ka na aasa na magiging crush ka din niya. “Ako? Magugustuhan niya? Mukhang malayo mangyari yun.”

Madalas kasi, hindi ka talagang nagugustuhan ng taong gusto mo. #Hugot

Pero ang mas nakakalungkot ay kung ano ang nagiging epekto ng ‘pagkabigo’ sa ‘yo. Naransan mo na bang magduda sa iyong sarili? Ang kwestyunin kung totoo bang may angkin kang ganda, talino o kapasidad? Mapapasambit ka ng mga tanong gaya ng, “Pangit ba ako?” “Anong meron ang iba na wala ako?” “Anong dapat kong gawin para magustuhan niya?” “Kung hindi kaya ako ganito, magugustuhan niya rin ako?”

Ang ending, habang humahanga ka sa iba, panay pintas naman ang nakikita mo sa iyong sarili. Pilit kang nagbabago, nagpapaganda at nagpapagwapo para maging pasado sa paningin ng crush mo. Kailangan mo siyang maconvince na ‘crushable’ ka. Alam mo na, baka sakaling maging kayo sa huli.

Pero kahit kailan, hindi iyon nangyari. Crush mo pa rin siya, habang siya naman ay may kasintahan na. #Ouch. Ito ang madalas na takbo ng istorya at ang one-million dollar question ay naging titulo pa ng libro at pelikula: “Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?”

Kapatid, may crush ka man o wala sa mga panahong ito, lagi mong tatandaan na ang batayan ng kagandahan o kabutihan ay hindi nakasalalay sa pares ng mata ng mga tao sa iyong paligid–lalo na sa crush mo. Narinig mo na ba ang kasabihang, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?” Sa mundong ito, iba-iba daw ang kahulugan ng ‘kagandahan’ depende sa taong tumitingin sa’yo. Pwedeng pangit ka sa iba, pwede rin namang ubod ka ng ganda o gwapo sa iba.

Pero kung ako sa’yo, mas mabuting ikaw ang magdesisyon kung ano ang magiging tingin mo sa iyong sarili at ibatay ito sa sinasabi ng Diyos tungkol sa’yo. Sabi nga sa isang commercial, “Choose Beautiful.” Bakit? Dahil nilikha ka ng Isang Diyos na lumikha sa napakagandang mundo na iyong ginagalawan. Narinig mo na ba ang kantang “Try” ni Colbie Callait? (Search mo siya sa Youtube :)) “You don’t need to try so hard,” ang sabi sa kanta. You don’t need to try to be accepted or loved. Hindi pa uso ang make-up nang nilikha ng Diyos ang tao pero sa kabila ng kapayakan ng mga baga-bagay noon, Siya ay nalugod sa Kanyang nilikha. You are special and loved just the way you are.

Isipin mo ngayon ang Mt. Volcano na may perfect cone, ang Boracay na may white sand na sobrang pino at hindi mo kailan man mabibilang, at ang Underground River sa Palawan na di mo lubos maisip kung paano nabuo. Ang Diyos na lumikha sa lahat ng magagandang tanawin na nakikita mo sa Pilipinas at sa lahat ng bansa– isama mo pa ang buong Universe, Siya rin ang Diyos na lumikha sa iyo. At hindi lang basta basta ka Niya nilikha. Nilikiha ka Niya sa Kanyang wangis. In His own image. #Wow. Tunay nga na you are fearfully and wonderfully made–obvious man ito sa iba o hindi, may crush man sa’yo ang crush mo o wala.

Kaya sana, lagi mong tatandaan na ang tunay na kagandahan ay hindi nasusukat sa dami ng mata na nakatingin sa’yo, kundi sa dami ng mata na napapatingin sa Diyos sa tuwing nakikita ka.

Hindi masama ang mag ka crush. Sa totoo lang, yung crush ko noon sa school, crush ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. May crush din akong artista at may crush din akong hollywood star. Pero huwag sana maging end goal ng iyong buhay ang maging crush ka din ng crush mo at maging sukatan ito ng pagtanggap sa sarili. Huwag ka sanang malunod sa isang kasinungalingan na ikaw ay hindi karapat-dapat, na ikaw ay pangit, o ikaw ay hindi sapat dahil kailanman ay hindi ka napansin ng crush mo.

Ok lang maging “uncrushable.” Ang mahalaga’y unshakeable ang pananalig sa Diyos. Walang nilikhang di kaaya-aya sa Kanyang paningin at walang “makaka-crash” sa katotohanang iyon. 🙂

P.S. I-share mo ito sa iba.

 

Carmela Ann Santos, TLW volunteer
Mel is a lover of written words, kids, and education. She values her faith, family, and her personal time. She dreams of writing a book, doing an interview with Mike Shinoda, and building her bookstore someday. Her favorite topics are faith, love, and others. She finds happiness seeing her loved ones happy. She wants to retire as a mobile teacher and spend the remaining days of her life in Batanes. Read more about her Writing Life at http://carmelameyla.wordpress.com

The Day I Gave Up On Love

The Day I Gave Up On Love

The Day I Gave Up On Love

The odds have been in my favor for more than two decades now. What I want, most of the time I get. I do not just refer to material things though sometimes I get them; but  more often, I get to achieve the goals I have set. I have fallen in love with planning and setting goals since I was a child. And nothing could be more rewarding than seeing my goals met and plans kept! I would always find myself down on my knees thanking God for always showering me His favor. It has been a smooth-sailing journey for me until I experienced a break up. 

The seemingly strong relationship I had, came to an end. ‘Seemingly’, a word I find very frightening now. ‘Seemingly okay, seemingly healthy, seemingly perfect, seemingly intact, seemingly promising, seemingly strong’- how great this word sounds until the truth surfaced and struck me. I am not writing about the break up, for my heart knows that everything works for good. Rather, I would like to share with you how this painful experience became a catalyst that led me to making one of the best decisions in life.

After my failed relationship came regrets, sadness, self-evaluations, realizations and decisions. Regrets like,“what if I have done this, what if I have not behaved like that, what if I have been more of this and less of that” and more what ifs. Sadness echoes the plans, goals, dreams that are far from happening now. Self-evaluations recount what, which, when, why, how the relationship had gone brittle and wrong. It also caused me to ask, ‘Was it my fault?’ Realizations spring like little buds of flowers – ‘Ah, Oh, Yeah I see, That’s why, I understand now.’ Then the most crucial one — decisions. Oh sure I could and should not live in a time warp and linger on what is no longer here. I have to move forward and sail again.

I was on the plane heading to Netherlands when I remembered the father and child who caught my attention at the airport for a while. The little girl with braided blonde hair was struggling with pulling her Minnie Mouse printed traveling bag while following her dad. Pulling a luggage that was relatively heavier than her weight while holding a water bottle and a bag of chips was enough to slow her down in walking, making it difficult for her to keep up with her dad’s pace. Eventually, the dad noticed that his daughter was distantly walking behind him. With a grin on his face, he called out to his daughter and said, “Give up now, give me your luggage.” While the father was approaching his daughter to take her bag, the look of hesitation was all over her daughter’s face. Then the words she let go were priceless. My favorite part of this swift scene.

“Here Daddy, it’s yours now,” were the words echoing in my head while I was on a 21-hour flight going to Europe. The little girl gave up her dearly loved Minnie Mouse bag and gave it to her dad who was able to carry it effortlessly. I thought, should the girl have refused to give up her bag to her dad, what could have happened? Surely, she would still have managed to carry it but with extreme difficulty.

Many times on my journey, I have carried with me heavy, loaded bags. I would handle things as if I am always in control. All this time I thought I am dependent to God and I seek His will, but neither of these was true. The failed relationship I just had was a reminder that my palms are too narrow to hold everything and juggle all the areas of my life with my own strength. I have thought all this time that because I am thanking God for every good thing that has happened to me, I am depending on Him. Thanking Him is solely recognizing that He is All-powerful. Depending on Him is another story.

I could not recall any instance that I have given up on something until I made a decision on the plane. Like the girl I saw at the airport, I said to myself that it’s over. With two hands thrown in the air, I give up! I give up worrying about love as if it would skip my turn. I give up on thinking that I should please men so I could be noticed. I give up on taking the weight and the duty of finding the right one. I give up hurrying on love as if it would never come back. I give up on believing that being in a relationship can make me whole and not having a special someone will make me incomplete. These are over. I am giving up on love.

While giving up on something sounds so coward and feeble, it actually shows the opposite – depending on why we are giving up, and to whom we have decided to depend on.

The modal verb ‘give up’ has carried a stigma all this time since because of it’s popular definition. Most often than not, the context of its usage is constrained to somebody who has made the decisions to stop what he’s doing because he could no longer move forward –  either out of hopelessness or he’s left with no choice. The whole idea of giving up carries with it a negative connotation, while it’s other meaning which is ‘to devote’ is left unnoticed.

I am giving up on love not because I am hopeless or left without options. I am giving up on love not because I am coward or weak, or I am hurt or unforgiving. I am neither daunted nor trapped in the past.

Let me set things straight: I am giving up on love because I have learned that I could entrust this aspect of my life to Someone who knows best.

I have fully grasped now the truth that love comes when it should and grows when it must, so there is no need to hurry or even chase it. I am giving up on love and I am giving it up to the One who created it, to the One who inspired it, to the One who knows His plans, to the One who thinks of giving hope and good future, to the One who died on the cross to ransom humanity and set a pattern of love that is above every condition and circumstance. I do not mind giving up love to God because He said in His word that He is concerned with whatever concerns me. This promise is more than enough for me to yield and to surrender.

The little girl at the airport told her dad, “Here Daddy, it’s Yours now.” And now it is my turn. “Here God, it’s all Yours now. Keep me and all the love I have in my heart for that moment. I would meet the person You have meant for me.”

Written By:
Sadeka Mesalucha, TLW Volunteer