Love = Sex?

Love is not that 3-letter word

UNWRITTEN By Maria Jorica B. Pamintuan

The Philippine Star Updated September 10, 2010 12:00 AM

The saying “good things come to those who wait” isn’t always true. Ask anyone who’s spent hours in a clinic waiting for a doctor who’ll only say that nothing more can be done without further tests. A guy courting a girl can wait years for an answer, but still get an “I’m not ready for a relationship” reply. And no matter how long a student waits for his professor to give out grades, a fail is still a fail. However, if there’s one good thing that always comes to those who wait, it’s true love, according to the organization aptly named True Love Waits.

True Love Waits (TLW) is a non-government organization that promotes purity and sexual abstinence among the youth. In essence, it believes that true love will wait until after marriage to engage in sexual activities.

Though the organization believes that sex should only be done within the confines of marriage between a man and a woman, they don’t deny that it is necessary to inform the youth about sex. Many schools and organizations around the country, including Youth for Christ and Couples for Christ, have partnered with TLW in teaching “Love Education,” which are lessons on human sexuality.

“TLW is not an anti-sex campaign; in fact we are a pro-sex organization, believing that God is the author of the act of love-making,” said Ree Soria, national media coordinator of True Love Waits Philippines. She added that that proper love education “is essential to (the youth) having a healthy and deep awareness and understanding of life.“While there is no problem with sex, pre-marital sex is and has always been an issue here. And because of its consequences — like unwanted pregnancies, a rapidly expanding population, and the spread of sexually-transmitted diseases, especially HIV/AIDS — premarital sex has ballooned into a raging controversy. In the Philippines, there has been a spirited debate over the Reproductive Health Bill, which aims to control the many problems brought about by unprotected sex. Some people are even saying that it’s almost like a very serious (though equally colorful) game of Plants vs. Zombies.

More like Church vs. Condoms, where staunch advocates of abstinence are protecting the purity of the youth from the ever-advancing threat of contraceptives (which would enable hormone-fueled teenagers to get it on as much as they want without fear of burn or baby).

TLW acknowledges that the RH Bill is trying to protect sexually active people, and trying to solve the problems looming over the issue of premarital sex. The organization agrees that something must be done to prevent the increasing number of STD carriers, and slow population growth. However, the members believe that the solution lies not in the contraceptive methods stated in the bill, but in making the right choices at the right time.

Love Ed 101

Ree said, “Knowing the solution starts with asking the question ‘What is the root of the problem?’ The fundamental problem is that young unmarried people are having sex. Teaching teens that it is okay to have sex doesn’t give a solution to the basic problem… The intent of the bill is correct but the solution is not.”

The bill latently encourages sexual activity in the way that it addresses the problem instead of encouraging people to abstain. TLW agrees with the biblical message that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.“You can have sex with anyone you want and as many as you want — but then, there is no condom for broken hearts, shattered dreams” Ree said.

In that light, TLW recommends promoting purity and abstinence, both in school and at home. The organization has developed parenting talks such as “Indelible Parenting” to encourage moms and dads to impart life sustaining core values to their children. “The challenge today is to not entertain short-term easy solutions without resolving the basic problem of morality,” said Ree, adding that the country’s youth and national leaders must “do hard things.”

Ree noted, from both statistics and personal knowledge gleaned from years giving informational talks, that today’s youth are becoming more sexually aggressive. But TLW believes that young Filipinos are capable of choosing a better way once wrong ideas are debunked and cleared away.

TLW’s goal is not to change media as a source of sexual ideas, nor is it to convert or force teenagers to abstain. “Our goal is to give students pure choices and then expect that they will make the right choice and that it will last. Most people do not believe in the youth. We do!” Ree said.

Their faith is not unfounded. One teen heard of the True Love Waits team coming to her school and responded, “I don’t believe in the campaign so why would I even bother? But our guidance counselor was persistent in having us sit through the talk, so I gave in. After hearing what True Love Waits has to say about sexual purity and God’s love, I realized that this was no longer something I was forced into but something that was meant for me.”

With so many sources of temptation these days, giving teens a different perspective — whether they accept it or not — is not a simple task.

But, it is gratifying, and as Ree said, “The best part of being a True Love Waiter is that you become the uncommon to common people...

We are not just being different. True Love Waits is making a difference in the lives of youth.”


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  • Christian

    can I send my article here ? I want to impart the things that is in my heart bout this.. I've wrote an article and I hope you pose it here in your site if you just want to.. after reading it..

  • suzanne


  • Hi Christian,

    Please do so. Send it to and will see if we can post it.

  • michael

    can i repost this on my blog? thanks.

  • Sure Michael!

    Just place


    HAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to all tnx for the information about love i know itz not easy to love someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sabi nga nila" TRUE LOVE WAITS" itz true tnx for the comments, qoutez that make me know about love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tnx to all and to GOD ........... GOD BLESS 2 all!!!!!!!!!!

  • Glory Jean

    true love waits talaga....

    And i know that good things will
    come to those person who knows
    how to wait...

    Thank u po sa info.
    Marami po akong natutunan d2.
    Praise God talaga

    God bless us

    ......Go go go TLW

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  • True Love Waits is committed to impacting youth by teaching them to be
    pure in heart which will lead them to make the right choices—especially in the issue of sexual abstinence until marriage.

    True Love Waits speaks in large groups and following it, they train core
    leaders with TLW workshop lessons.

    Get full details on how you can invite us to your church, school or barangay > CLICK HERE

Thanks for coming here. The staff at True Love Waits realize the courage it took for you to get this far. Is the sin in your life a burden for you? Actually, that's good news. If the mistakes that you are making cause you a heaviness, then be glad because Jesus says to you "Rest in me". We've placed this tab here because year after year, people have emailed us with the subject line "I NEED HELP". You are not alone. Our staff are dedicated to pray for you and listen to the things in your life that have burdened you. We provide for those who find themselves struggling with the effects of sin a safe place to walk honestly in loving community and receive God's truth in addressing life's difficulties.

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True Love Waits is committed to impacting youth by teaching them to be
pure in heart which will lead them to make the right choices—especially in the issue of sexual abstinence until marriage.
True Love Waits speaks in large groups and following it, they train core leaders with TLW workshop lessons. Get full details on how you can invite us to your church, school or barangay,